Acceptance & Moving On.
The past 2.5 years of my life have been a roller coaster of filled with twists and turns. After 2 application cycles and nearly giving up, I can finally say I'm on the road to becoming an Optometrist.
My name is Bhavini and I am attending the Inter American University of Puerto Rico School of Optometry, class of 2019. As happy and excited as I am to finally start optometry school, it feels bittersweet. After 18 years of calling one place home, I'll be away for the next 4 years trying to make Puerto Rico my home. Never living away from home before has not made leaving the amazing support system of my family and friends behind very easy. I always knew there was a possibility I would be moving far away, but I never expected it to happen so soon or suddenly. As much as I hate to admit it, I miss my parents nagging me, my brother annoying me, customers and patients at work being rude, and my coworkers teasing me. I know my family and friends will always be there for me via phone call, text messages, etc but it's not the same as having a shoulder to cry on and someone to vent to.
Moving to Puerto Rico was a big change. Living here, I feel like I'm a baby learning how to walk. I was used to being able to ask my parents or my brother for help whenever I needed anything, but now there is only so much that a phone call can help. Now that it's about a month into school, I'm slowly starting to fall into a routine with classes and schoolwork. The course load is building up slowly, our class is splitting into cliques, but for the most part everyone is settling in. Making friends has been a little bit of a challenge. Obviously we're all here for the same reason, but not everyone is as open or willing to form worthwhile friendships. I wish I could say that it's been as easy for me as it has for some others, but I'd be lying. Being here and trying to make new friends has made me realize that I probably won't ever find an amazing group of friends that I can trust as much as the ones I left. Anytime I thought about what it would be like in Optometry school, I only considered how the course load would affect me, not how difficult it would be to balance school and making new friends. I'm glad I've found a few people that I can talk to about more than just school work. With that being said, I've also realized how important it is to be independent and self sufficient. At the end of the day, most people will only have their best interests in mind.
I can only hope that everything will continue to fall into place.
I can only hope that everything will continue to fall into place.
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| El Morro; Viejo San Juan |
Your friends and family back home have had the pleasure of knowing you and loving you for years. They have seen you in your worst moments, tended to you while you were sick, encouraged you when you needed support, shown you grace when you were being wrong or unreasonable, and persistently pursued you with love when you were too hurt or scared to reach out yourself. And you have done the same for them. These dear ones of yours, they know you and understand you- they know your weaknesses, but they also see your strength, the depth of inner beauty that you possess, and your gentle and compassionate heart. They will always be there for you, they will never leave you, because they see you for who you really are and they realize that you are someone worth holding on to.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to compete that with people you've just met. Hope for something too much or believe in someone too soon and you might hear someone tell you harsh and painful words that bring you back down to reality- "...we've only known each other for a few weeks. Also, we're here to become optometrist. That's my number one goal." Or guard your heart and take the cautious route, as you have done, and you may come to believe will never love or be loved like you were back home, and you will harden your heart and be closed off to that possibility.
I guess in the end, I don't know the right answer either. But one thing I know for sure, and that is that you are an amazing person with a heart capable of incredible depth, emotion, friendship, and compassion. The people back home know that about you, and if you give it time and are open to it, people here will see that too. You're right that not everyone wants the same thing; not everyone is open to friendship or willing to expend the time, effort, and heart to establish meaningful friendships, or maybe some people prefer quantity and popularity over quality and depth. But I believe with firm conviction that here, or wherever else you go in life, you will be able to find and form meaningful friendships because there will always be people who will realize how precious you are and decide that you are worth it.
...At the end of the day, most people do only have their own best interests in mind. That's because the one who spends all that he has and expends himself as well for the sake of others will end up running himself to the ground, broken and alone. There's no place in this world for a fool like that, and he would certainly not last through optometry school.
no great advice to bestow, I just enjoy your writing style. keep the faith!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how this comment slipped by unnoticed, but thank you!
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