Insecurities Be Gone.

Being dismissed from school has taken a greater toll on me than I expected.  I feel as though I lost a big part of who I am and forgot how to take care of myself.

But I'm not letting my insecurities eat me up. I've broken down my insecurities and slowly started tackling them one at a time.

1. I am a failure.

 - Being dismissed felt like my scarlet letter. I felt like that was all anyone saw in me. But I'm so much more than that. I came back, started working and looking for ways to move forward with my life.  Becoming an optometrist was my dream and my goal for so long it's hard to see anything other than that, but that doesn't make me a failure.  Giving up now would make me a failure and I won't allow myself to give up.

2. I let myself go and I'll never get back to feeling beautiful again.

 - I stopped caring about myself and it was the worst feeling in the world. I let being unhappy with my situation effect my health. I stopped caring about how I looked and in the end it effected how I felt about myself.  But thanks to the amazing support of my husband and friends, I'm getting back to myself.  I recognize the person I see a little more everyday.  There are still many ups and downs. I know I won't look the same as I did, but I'm learning to be comfortable in my own skin and embracing my body.  

3. I've lost friendships that I made while in Puerto Rico.
- It seemed devastating at first. The friendships I made over the past year were gone. Or so I thought.  I didn't expect anyone to still keep in touch at all once I left. Luckily, I was wrong.  I made some amazing lifelong friendships.  Of course there are some friendships that didn't survive, but that was expected.

4. I'll never get back into school.

- I miss school too much to not give it a try.  Even if I put Optometry school on hold for a little while, that will not stop me from returning to school to continue on a path towards a career.  The options are open for me.

I'm not saying I'm completely free of my insecurities, but they no longer control me.  I know better than to let my insecurities
get the best of me.